When a Saver Marries a Spender – What Every Couple Needs to Know
A client recently came to me with a concern about his son, who had just married. The son is a natural saver, while his new wife is more of a spender. My client is worried—perhaps rightly—that this mismatch might lead to financial stress down the line. With more and more parents wanting to help out their children financially, the increasing percentage of relationships that end up in divorce, and financial stress being a major factor leading to couples divorcing, this got me thinking that whilst money differences are one of the leading causes of relationship strain and divorce, with the right tools and mindset, they don’t have to be.
Whether you are newly married, in a long-term relationship, or guiding your own children through these stages, here is some advice that could help you—or someone you care about—build a stronger financial partnership. The following are some of the characteristics that I have observed from my clients that have been in successful long-term relationships.
Talk About Money Early—and Often
Honest, judgment-free conversations about finances are key. Discuss:
- Spending and saving habits
- Financial goals (short- and long-term)
- Views on debt, lifestyle expectations etc
Create Shared Goals
Aligning goals like buying a home, starting a family, or planning for retirement helps both partners see purpose in budgeting and saving—especially when one is more cautious and the other more carefree.
Build a Budget That Works for Both
A solid budget should include:
- Essential expenses (mortgage, groceries, utilities)
- Joint savings goals
- “Fun money” for each partner—without judgment
This structure respects the saver’s desire for control and the spender’s need for flexibility.
Maintain Some Financial Independence
Many successful couples combine finances but also keep individual accounts. This fosters trust and autonomy, especially when habits differ.
Schedule Regular Financial Check-ins
Monthly or quarterly “money dates” help catch small issues before they become big ones. Think of it as maintenance for your financial relationship. As a financial planner, I find this step critical. Many couples avoid this discussion in order to avoid confrontation. These discussions should be aligned to the achievement or progress of their joint goals.
Financial Stress in Australia: A Real Risk
While there’s no exact figure, research shows financial stress is a leading factor in relationship breakdowns in Australia. The Australian Institute of Family Studies found over a third of households experience at least one financial stress each year.
If you or someone you know is entering a new relationship—or simply wants a healthier financial foundation—please feel free to reach out. I’d be happy to help guide those important conversations or build a plan that supports both love and long-term financial security.
Should you require further information about financial planning for couples please feel free to contact Peter Quinn by submitting an enquiry or calling us on +61 2 9580 9166 to book an obligation-free appointment.
The information in this document does not consider your personal objectives, financial situation or needs, so you should consider its appropriateness regarding these factors before acting on it. It is important that your personal circumstances are taken into account before making any financial decision, and it is recommended that you seek assistance from your financial adviser.